Pink Floral Nipple Stickers...

..or what we affectionately call, Pasties. That's right! These sweet little, floral stickers were what awaited me at my Mammogram this morning. Imagine my surprise to find out that they now have fun pasties for special occasions such as this. And in my favorite color too!! Gone are the boring, silver all too common stickers of yesteryear. I found that these little pasties made my "grab and smash" so much more fun. They actually made the thought of my nipple being as far down as my belly button, less traumatizing. Seriously, what will they come up with next!

Today was not my first mamo. I have been getting them since a "suspicious" spot was found about 4 years ago. Today was my first digital mamo and I must say way better. Not that it was really bad before. If you are reading this and you have put off the experience of a mamo. Shame on you. Personally I feel that the 5 to 10 minutes of "unpleasantness" is nothing compared to the alternative. For the moment....let's have some fun with this.

I am well endowed. Thank God I am fat too or I would fall over. Some of you know what I mean. We beautiful ladies come in all sizes, but I think if the "sisters" are larger, the mamo is easier. Ask my "girls". I am a mamo tech's dream. I walk in and whistle and the girls jump up on the machine. With each grank of the knob, they flatten like a pancake sizzlin' on the griddle. They spill off the sides. Sometimes I wonder what the tech is thinking. "Honey, does your back hurt?" "You know 80% of women wear the wrong size bra?" I am sure many things go through their mind especially, "I am glad I have been lifting weights, cause these puppies are heavy!""

During the entire process, I find things to talk about. This helps me take my mind off of the fact the some strange woman is fondling me and pulling skin from my back to get a "good shot". Today, the topic of conversation was the pink, floral pasties. I said they were a nice touch and she said, "they cost the same, why not get the pretty ones!" Even though I only saw them for a moment and then they were gone...to the underbelly....

As I got dressed, I realized that not only were they pretty, they would also give Mighty Putty a run for its money. Not since the tender years of nursing my babies have I had so much pain shooting through my body. I pulled and pulled and the right one wouldn't let go. The blinding pain took me back to the day the I got a "titty twist" from a 3-year-old preschooler. I think IT felt better. I didn't know if I should scream out for help or not. I had just had a pain free mamo and I was a good girl. The tech told me so. How could I let the pink, floral nipple sticker take me down?

I left the office with several layers of skin missing from my right nipple but I also with the piece of mind that I had done the right thing by having the mammogram. Truly, for me, the most "uncomfortable" part is undressing. The rest is "no brainer". If you haven't had one, please do. Your life my be saved and if you can wax your "hoo hoo" them you can endure the pasties.

I love you my friends,